3 Simple Steps To Build The Deeply Satisfying Life You’ve Always Wanted
I created this website because I believe in love – not the kind we wait on, but the kind we do. Proactive love has the power to move mountains and heal lives.
Running, hiding, and blaming others for our problems causes us to lose in life. On the other hand, intentional love enables us to win . Here’s how that happened for one of my clients (really a composite of clients) whom we’ll call Bryan:
Bryan’s Problem:
A few years ago Bryan and his wife came to counseling. Bryan’s wife no longer wanted to live with Bryan’s long work hours, periods of moody withdrawal and angry outbursts. She said things needed to change.
At first, Bryan excused his behavior by blaming the many demands placed on him by his boss, wife, kids and aging mother. He saw himself as a victim; unfortunately Bryan’s defensive behavior made things worse. His wife threatened to leave if he didn’t change.
Reluctantly, Bryan stopped complaining and took an honest look at himself in one-on-one counseling. He recognized his deep unhappiness. We began looking for ways Bryan could resolve his problems and create a better life for his family and himself.
God’s Loving Solution:
Our attention turned to God’s prescription for winning at life. The Bible says God’s entire law converges in two simple commands about intentional love:
“You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart,and with all your soul, and with all your mind…‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’
(Matt. 22:36-39)
With these words still in the air, I challenged Bryan to stop living as a victim and take control of his life. I encouraged him to practice intentional love as prescribed in these verses.
Bryan’s Response:
Bryan caught the vision. He saw his opportunity to trade passive resentment for proactive love. He decided to intentionally do the three things God prescribes:
- love God
- love others
- love himself
First he got intentional about loving God, He studied God’s Word and sought divine help to change. He joined a breakfast group made up of men from his church. His new community helped by him check his blaming and complaining.
Second, Bryan got intentional about loving others. He worked with his wife to revitalize their marriage. He apologized to his kids for past behavior and scheduled time with them before they could ask.
He stopped passively resenting his “slacker” brother who didn’t help with their aging mother. Instead, Bryan proactively confronted his guilt-ridden brother who apologized and started helping.
Third, Bryan took steps to love himself. Besides securing his brother’s help with their mother, Bryan talked to his boss about the pressures he felt on the job. When his boss couldn’t help him, Bryan sought and landed a better job.
What about you?
Bryan’s life changed when he began to love on purpose. He abandoned his passive, helpless approach to life and became proactive about loving God, others and self. These changes brought him a much more abundant and fulfilling life.
God’s two love commands hold the key for growing healthy relationships. They tell us how to succeed in marriage, with kids, parents, family, friends, people at church, in the community and at work. They help us cope with serious challenges like illness, loss, trauma and psychological disorders.
If you want the kind of abundant life Bryan found, I hope you’ll stay connected. I’ll be using this blog to explore the many ways proactive love can help us win at life God’s way!
About Cheryl Savageau
Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor
I like the optimism
I love this site already.
Useful info for those who want/need to make changes in their lives. And a good reminder for those who are chugging along pretty well….. There are always ways to improve. This was a really good read. Thank you!!
Great article, Cheryl! And I love the name you’ve chosen for your blog.
Thank you for starting this inspirational blog. I know it will be so helpful!