Do you make New Year’s resolutions? I like making them because I know the surest way to accomplish nothing is to aim for it. I’ve resolved to spend more time writing in 2018.
Soon after Christmas I start asking people if they’ve made any resolutions for the new year. Most people say “no” and explain it’s because they didn’t keep them in the past.
Refusing to make resolutions can be the right move under some circumstances. It’s smart to avoid resolutions like the following:
5 Bad Resolutions for Women
I will overload my plate.
I will hold myself to the homemaking, beauty, parenting and career standards shown in the media. I will burn my candle at both ends and overspend my budget in the pursuit of perfection. I will tolerate anxiety and mistakes that come from multitasking and evaluate my life according to what I see on Facebook.
I will banish the word “no” to the outer edges of my consciousness.
It’s my job to keep other people happy no matter what the toll on my own mental health, so when someone asks me to do something I will say “yes” if possible to keep them happy and happy with me.
I will helplessly accept life as it comes.
When my needs go unmet I will accept my lot and sink into depression. I will avoid exercising personal power to make things better.
I will continue relationships with unsafe people.
Self-righteous, perfectionist people who defend their bad behavior, avoid growth and criticize me will get plenty of my time next year. I will pursue relationships with people who avoid closeness and think in terms of “I” rather than “we.” I will not review Cloud and Townsend’s book, Safe People.
I will base my self-worth on what other people think of me.
If someone communicates in some way that I am less important than others or am in some way not good enough, I will internalize their view of myself.
5 Bad Resolutions for Men
I will show people how to do things before they ask.
When someone does something in a way I consider inefficient I will show them the right way to do it. I will take over what others are doing when I feel inpatient.
I will link my personal worth to career success.
My highest priority will go to work and buying stuff that makes me look successful. I will work long hours at the expense of physical, mental, spiritual and relationship health and incur debt when necessary to appear affluent.
I will make excuses for aggressive driving and other bad behavior.
Since driving is a competition created for alpha males, I will do what it takes to get and stay ahead of others on the road. I will disregard my wife’s and other passengers’ fears because they don’t understand the nature of highway competition.
I will take more care than I give.
Since women nurture by nature I will allow the women in my life to cater to my needs. Men don’t belong in the kitchen or the laundry room.
I will keep conversations impersonal.
Conversations about cars, sports, home repairs and politics will help me avoid closeness next year. Nobody will ever know my true thoughts, feelings and needs as long as I only discuss facts and information.
All of the above resolutions suggest terrible behaviors. I mention them in jest hoping they will help you enjoy a small laugh at yourself and perhaps spot a bad habit or two you might lose next year.
I seriously hope you will resolve to give God a central place in your life in 2018. Talk to Him often and listen to Him through His Word, His Spirit and Godly people who speak the truth in love.
If you have a New Year’s resolution, why not share it in the comment section below. Going public will actually help you keep your resolve (that’s science). Anyway, it’d be fun to hear from you.
Happy New Year!