My phone rang in the wee hours last Thursday morning. I answered and heard my daughter say, “Mom, I’m in labor.” I flipped on the light to wake my husband, jumped into my waiting clothes, grabbed a to-go mug of coffee and began my drive through nighttime fog to attend the birth of my youngest granddaughter.
Upon reaching the hospital I found my daughter struggling with strong contractions in the care of her attentive husband, a midwife and a nurse. My heart filled with concern and empathy for her. You know if you’re a parent – it’s easier to suffer yourself than see your child in pain.
Our daughter’s unexpected pregnancy came with stress. It occurred long after she and her husband thought they’d completed their family. The pregnancy forced changes in life and career plans as well as household room arrangements. All-things baby had to be purchased again. Older siblings prepared for unfamiliar life changes.
Adult family members recognized that mother and baby faced increased risk due to my daughter’s mature age. Prenatal exams found no problems but we all felt angst as the pregnancy progressed.
Throughout the pregnancy I told myself and my daughter, “Life is always a good thing” and “God’s plans are best” (Isa 55:8). I knew these truths as I stood beside my inconvenienced, laboring daughter but I felt stress and concern.
Suddenly that changed. Seemingly out-of-the-blue the midwife said, “Look at all that brown hair!” What? Wait a minute! What’s she talking about? What does she see? Can I see? I did.
In an instant the disrupted plans, household upheaval, expense, angst, the stress of labor and worry for my daughter vanished like a puff of smoke. The previous concerns no longer mattered.
Nothing felt important now but the brown-haired baby that suddenly entered our world. My daughter’s emotional exclamations of joy and the nurses’ admissions that they too were crying washed away every feeling of intrusion and misgiving that ever surrounded that pregnancy. Only wonder and joy remained.
What I Learned
Walking beside my daughter through her disruptive, unexpected pregnancy drove home three lessons I want to remember. They might help you too:
1. Life and Love Trump Everything
Life took an unexpected turn with this pregnancy. But once family members saw, held and talked to that baby previously envisioned life plans seemed unimportant. No other life plan could bring as much joy as having a new person to love.
God gives life. He is love (1 Jn 4:7-9). He wants us to live loving lives (Matt 22:36-40).
Life comes with distractions. Over investment in work, position, possessions, hobbies, finances and other interests can cause us to miss out on what really satisfies in life- loving God by loving people (Jn 21:17)
2. Give Thanks Always
Circumstances change all around us but as long as we have people to love let us give thanks. Love is our greatest need.
The apostle Paul tells us to thank God even in hard circumstances (Eph 5:20). Does your spouse drive you crazy? Thank God you have a marriage to work on. Is your loved one ill or feeble? Give thanks for their presence – you’ll miss them when they’re gone. Does your child misbehave? Cherish your opportunity to help them.
3. Live Ready; Stay Flexible
You’ve heard it said, “To make God laugh make plans.” We suffer delusions of control but nature and God bring unexpected course changes to every life. Fighting what we cannot change only creates headaches.
Better to trust God and roll with things outside our control. The Bible promises (and experience proves) that God works all things to good for those who love Him (Rms 8:28). Our job is to love God and live for His purposes. Things work out well when we do.
What About You?
Can you relate to my experience? Have you or your family had to adjust to unexpected and even unwanted changes? What lessons did you learn? Did God work everything out for good in the end?
Let me know. I’d love to hear your story!
